


Golden

by idrilhadhafang



Series: Pre-TFA Tidbits [8]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Creepy Snoke (Star Wars), Evil Snoke, Gay Poe Dameron, Gen, Good Parent Han Solo, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, M/M, Mommy Issues, POV Han Solo, POV Kylo Ren, POV Leia Organa, POV Poe Dameron, Poe Dameron-centric, Snoke Being a Dick, call it therapy for the writer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-31 17:03:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12137079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: The fallout of Ben's descent into darkness, and Poe's new role.





	Golden

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Gold
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

 

  _Leia_ :

When she looks at him, sometimes she swears that she sees what Ben could have been, if not for unhappy chance. He's a phenomenal pilot where Ben didn't pilot much, he's obedient where Ben was headstrong but not too obedient (he does have a daring streak of his own, after all), he's generally healthy and whole where Ben was broken. He is perfect, in short. He is everything that Ben could never be, and that's good.

There's been whispers around the base. They resent him, some of them do, for being Leia's "favorite". And at night, the Snoke that's taken up residence in her head taunts her. _Is he your favorite now? The replacement? The golden years that you never had with Kylo Ren?_

It's not true, of course. She doesn't want to forget Ben. She wants him back -- the question, in the end, is how.

***

_Kylo Ren:_

"She thinks nothing of you," Snoke says. "She always has. Even now, she despises you." A beat. "She was afraid of you even when you were a youngling, wasn't she?"

Kylo Ren merely nods. He can't deny it. She never said it aloud that she found things like his terrible twos and tendency to knock things over in fits of strong emotion terrifying, but even as a small child of two, he knew that she didn't think of him like a normal child. He knows it now, actually. He knows it too well. When even your own mother is afraid of you...it's far from a pleasant experience.

"Too much Vader in you, that's what she thought," Snoke says. "Too much Dark. Never mind that you are infinitely her better. Now she seeks to turn your mate into your replacement." He puts an index finger to his chin. "I wonder if she thinks that Dameron is somehow your better?"

The lightsaber trembles in Kylo Ren's hand, ready to ignite and wreak destruction on everything in sight. How dare she? How dare she --

"Interesting that I mean nothing to her," Kylo Ren says. "Because she means nothing to me."

"Your words say one thing and yet your body says another," Snoke says, a wry edge to his voice. His voice goes more to a rumble. "Still looking for the mother you wish you had? The junglecat who nourishes her young instead of killing them would be quite something to see, would it not?"

Kylo Ren does not argue. He knows Leia Organa for who she really is, but Ben Solo still longs for his mother's acceptance. Too much like a small child, he thinks in disgust. No matter how horribly children are treated, they hold out hope that things will change.

"That mother is nothing more than a childish fantasy," Snoke says. "Forget her, Kylo Ren. If you must remember her, keep her alive in your anger. Anger is the fuel that keeps us going. Anger is the fire that burns in your blood. Use it."

Drawing off that anger, off every rejection, every moment she feared him, and more, is surprisingly easy.

 

 __  
***  
Han Solo:

It's not every day that you get angry at your own son-in-law. But there is something about the occasional transmissions that he gets from Leia that makes him wonder, idly, if she's trying to replace Ben. Yes, Ben's done awful things. If Leia honestly thinks he didn't have to hear it on the Holonet on smuggling missions, she's all sorts of wrong, actually. And yet does she want to forget him? Forget he ever existed? Use Poe as a replacement? It can't possibly be, and yet here she is. Ben's good as brushed under the cargo ramp, their dirty secret.

But Ben's not just a dirty secret; he's their son. Isn't it their job to bring their son home? To save him? Does Leia think there's too much irredeemable stuff there for them both to do that?

In his mind, he tries to keep the details of what Ben looked like and acted like alive. He knows that they named him Ben because Leia liked the name and to honor Ben Kenobi. He knows that Ben didn't look much like either of them, but like a dark-haired version of his grandfather. He knows that Ben wanted to be a pilot but he could never find the time. He knows that Ben loved Poe, thinking of him like the greatest man in the galaxy.

He knows. He knows all these things. And knowing, at least, keeps Han knowing that Ben isn't just a dirty secret; he's their son. Han doesn't know how far he has to travel but by the stars he is bringing him back home.

 

 

***

_Poe Dameron:_

Golden. That's what they call him. Admired, looked up to, and plenty more. And yet Poe knows he would trade all those titles that mostly the General has foisted on him in a heartbeat if it meant something else: getting Ben home.

The General treats Ben like a dirty secret. He's not. He never has been. He has to get Ben home. Unfortunately, no one seems to know where he is. Still, Poe keeps Ben in his heart, in his head, as he keeps searching. Because no matter what happens, he can't give up until Ben's home.

 

 


End file.
